Madonna Whore Complex

It is no secret that men usually draw a line between the kind of girl he will have fun with and the kind he will want to see wearing pink slippers and his tee shirt around the house – also known as the wholesome good girl or “the marrying kind”. On some occasions they can meet a girl who will not seem like the marrying kind at first, especially if he happened to meet her at a club and she happened to be wearing ten inch heels, mini skirt and long blonde clip in extensions. After some time this same girl can easily morph into a girlfriend as he gets to know her better. In other occasions men cannot see both sexual and relationship potential in the same woman and can only have either or. This is called the Madonna Whore complex.

So what is Madonna Whore complex?

Madonna whore complex is a rather common occurrence where a man does not want to have a wife who can be both maternal and have the wild side at the same time. He does not like his wife or long term partner to be sexually aggressive ever and especially after she had given birth. He can love her and respect her and be her best friend but he stops to view her as an object of sexual desire. Signs of this complex usually become evident after a few years of being together.

What causes it and should you be worried?

This complex isn’t really considered a sexual disorder, however it can serve as a platform for developing one later on in life. It is believed that childhood upbringing and the parents are to blame. According to Freud, the cause can often be a distant cold inattentive mother.  A man searches for a woman who will remind him of his mother and tries to capture her attention. Since the wife associates with his mother, he sees her as a maternal virginal being and not in a sexual light. Sometimes if parents teach a child that sex is some sort of dirty shameful thing and put a negative emphasis on it, it can trigger this sort of complex as well.

Why is it bad?

A woman stuck with a partner with this complex can live a sexually unsatisfying life and be on the lookout for flings on the side. In other cases she may be too timid to act upon her urges and live quiet and sexless life. A man will likely have flings and one night stands of his own with women of “whore” caliber. Needless to say, marriages of such kind often fall apart

Dealing with it

If you are dealing with a man with such complex, it can be challenging and in some cases help of a therapist may be necessary. In other cases there are several things you can do to keep things sexual. In either case, you will need patience and have to make extra effort to make him see you in both lights.

Dressing provocatively may not always work in this case, as he may get annoyed and even angry. Frequent sex is actually the best remedy for this issue, and the more you have it the less likely he will be to think of you as a mother.

Trying to not act as a mother with a man like that is also important. Avoid being overly nurturing with him and don’t say things like: “Wear an extra sweater, sweetie!”. Avoid treating him like he is an immature child and instead act like an equal to him. Let him know that you view him as an authoritative figure who is smart, strong and has a lot to teach you. Acting like a mother should be avoided at all costs.

Other Interesting Sexual Complexes:

Complex of Alice in Wonderland – usually happens in women who live in their own fantasy world. They make up a perfect scenario which they live by and try to find a partner who fits this fairytale life. The problem is, it becomes impossible to find an ideal man like that and women with this complex risk remaining single forever.

Titanic Complex – is rather rare and also usually happens to women and happens when she has read or watched too many unrealistic love stories and imagines her perfect prince during sex.

Cinderella Complex – happens with women who choose to passively float through life. They are afraid of independence and wait for their prince on a white horse who will save her. She needs to be rescued and is looking for man who will constantly worship her, work for her love and do heroic deeds for her on a regular basis.

Don Juan Complex – everyone knows at least one guy for whom women are conquests only and pursuing them is their main goal. They are not looking for a relationship and a woman in his mind is only interesting for him while he is pursuing her. Once he gets what he wants he loses interest and switches his attention to a new victim. His sexual victories help him attain self confidence and feel good about himself.

Othello Complex – is found in overly aggressive and jealous types of men. A man will obsessively be suspicious about his partner cheating on him. This will especially be evident when he has had a few drinks. This fear does not come from wanting to possess a woman as his property but more from an insecurity that he is being fooled and laughed at behind his back.



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